Romancing the Stone:

How To Make Someone Love You

The Metaphysics of Love

Can you MAKE someone love you?  The answer is YES, although sometimes it is a long and tricky path, and sometimes you must devote a lot of time not only to your beloved, but EVEN MORE to YOURSELF.  This is the important key to reaching someone with the love you offer: devoting time and thoughts to YOU and then allowing them the space and freedom to love you back!

We are all made up of energy, and we carry an energy bubble around us.  When we love someone, we send out energy that pushes and sometimes invades their bubble.  When we constantly think of someone, we can actually push them away, even if they like us back!  You must learn how to allow them the space to come to you, and so that is key.

Rule One: The key to making someone love you is allowing them the time and space to CHOOSE TO LOVE YOU BACK.  When you constantly think of someone, your energy is actually invading their space and will push them father away.  Allow them space.

Solution: GET A LIFE.  STOP THINKING OF THEM CONSTANTLY.  It doesn’t matter what you have to do to stop: get a hobby, perform an activity, go out with other people, jump out of an airplane if you have to, but stop thinking about them!!! 

Rule Two:  The best way to make someone love you is to LEAVE THEM.  Ever notice that if you go on a date with someone else, suddenly the beloved calls, and then you feel torn?  Because when you get on with your life, all of a sudden they want you back!  They are used to your love energy, they miss it, and they want it back!

Solution: Going out with others is a great way to misdirect yourself and turn your attention to something or someone else.  (Please notice that the minute you stop thinking of them, they call!!!  That is because they felt that your attention was diverted from them!)  To go out with family and friends is good, but dating other people is even better—for 2 reasons: 1) It gives you other options from which to choose, and 2) You can learn and practice on these dates.  Best of all, when you turn your attention away from the object of your attention, they feel the loss.  Everyone wants to be loved, and they will miss your loving energy and will want it back.

What if the person doesn’t know you love them, or what if they are difficult?

LET THE PERSON KNOW YOU LOVE THEM.  Tell them, send a card (without too much information), give them a compliment or a present.  Tell them (only ONCE) that you feel like you are soulmates or that you have lived together in other lifetimes.  Even non-believers are intrigued by this.  The key to this is, be SHORT & SWEET, and be prepared to WAIT.  Let it sink in, and do not pursue.  Even if they think you are ridiculous now, but when they hit a low spot, they will think of you and remember, “Oh yeah, he will support me; he’s known me forever.  He’s loved me forever.”

So

1. Tell them: it’s important to let the person know that you love them.  This is a hook, because everyone wants love.  Let them know, and then leave them alone.  This is the most effective way, because they will see that you are allowing them space.  They then become intrigued, “Just how much does this person love me?  She said she loved me, but she’s nowhere around.”  They will want to test your love and find out more about you, so they will come around.  Tell them it is long-lasting—this is important too, because it gives them time to decide that YOU are the one!  People are looking for someone who will love them forever, as they are, and stick with them through thick and thin, even if they take a long time.

2. Send a card.  This is tangible proof that you care.  Don’t be afraid to love, because face it, every loves, and everyone gets dumped once in a while.  But this might just be the one that doesn’t fail, especially if you do show that your love is long lasting.  You can’t find out unless you take the risk.  Sending a card also puts your love energy right in their hand and in their house, because your energy is on the card.  Later on, they may be drawn to that love energy at a time when they need it.  “Look, he wrote right there that he cared.”

WARNING:  Do NOT write a long drawn out letter or reams of love poetry.  Remember that short and sweet is the best.  A sweet card that says simply, “I love you” and your name is mysterious enough to be intriguing.  Remember, LESS IS MORE.  A long letter is the equivalent of thinking about them too much; they may cut and run if you do that, because you are rushing it and pushing them.  Restrain yourself.  Err on the side of caution, please!

3. Give a compliment.  This works in any difficult relationship, as long as you don’t overdo it, or get gushy.  Praise the person for what they do well.  Compliment them on how they look, “That’s a nice haircut.” “That’s a pretty tie.”  “That’s an attractive dress.”  “You look very nice today.”  Don’t get overly sexual or romantic about it.  Be conservative, but make your point.  Even if they refuse the compliment, (“You look great in that dress!” “Oh, this old thing?”) they will remember that you complimented and will think favorably on you.  I have tried this with the most difficult co-workers, and it eventually works.  Even the roughest and hardest soften up eventually, and the diamond becomes a real gem, and they may love to see you coming!

4. Give a present or card.  It really does work.  Flowers, stuffed animals, a CD, candy, and doodads that show that you thought especially of them—it lets people know that you are thinking of them.  Do not over spend, and don’t do it too often, but remember their birthday or anniversary and Valentine’s Day.  So few people do remember these days!  If you don’t have much money, a hand-written poem will do, a candy bar with the note “you are even sweeter than this”, or a locket with a note inside.  This works for both love relationships and difficult people.  Shower them with affection; then give them their space.  Leave the present on a doorstep, their desk, or their car.

Do you really have to love the person?  No, but these tactics ill often melt the heart of the most difficult boss or co-worker.  The secret admirer trick sometimes works too, as long as you are careful to let the person know it isn’t a joke.

What if YOU need help loving them?  Try this exercise:

Sit quietly in your room with soft music playing and lights turned down low.  Close your eyes, and surround yourself with pink or green light.  If you can concentrate on opening your heart, this helps.  If not, just imagine a pink mist around you.  (If you can’t imagine it, just say out loud, “I surround myself with pink light.  I surround myself with pink light.  I surround myself with pink light.”)

Then when you have done that, surround the other person with the same pink light.  If you can, send pink light from your heart to theirs.  Do this every other day.  The rest of the time, lead your life as normally as possible without obsessing over the person.  Love them, and leave them alone.  They will come around.

If you have had trouble with a person, imagine them sitting across from you, and speak from the heart.  Always lead with a genuine expression of peace.  For example, “I really didn’t want any trouble in the office.  I really wanted everything between you and me to go smoothly.  Then when this thing happened, I got upset because I was hurt/shocked/surprised.”  OR, “When you yelled at me/ignored me/hurt me, I felt so bad, and it really messed things up.  I know that really somewhere inside, you are a good person, even if I don’t see it now.  I just want peace.  How about you?”  This should be “spoken” in your imaginary conversation without anger and as little judgment as possible.  Speak peacefully, truthfully, and from the heart.  This truth can create a miraculous turnaround, without you ever speaking to the person face to face!!!  Some folks are too testy or uptight to talk to, but you can do it privately in your imaginary conversation, and they still get it!!!

If you have had a fight with someone, another trick is to find the best thing you can say about the person, and repeat it every day.  “Today, I wish So-and-so doesn’t get run over.”  Make the wish for that person as good as you can.  Eventually, your affirmation for that person will improve, and let it.  By the time you wish him or her well with a light heart, they will decide they love you!  Watch the relationship change!

In extreme circumstances, repeat this 3 times: The Christ in me forgives and releases _________”.  Then, follow this with:  The Christ in ____________forgives and releases me.”  This allows the other to travel their own path, free to choose you or make up with you or not.  By giving them this freedom, they are more likely to return to you.  It also helps release you from obsession.  You too need to be free and not imprisoned by love!